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For Catholics seeking accurate information about the church’s teachings on sex ethics, the internet can be a perilous place. One might get plenty of opinions from influencers, and far more personal information about people’s sex lives than one bargained for—but not so much accurate source-based content on Catholic teaching. Some influencers have even told women that the church says they have to have sex with their husbands whenever their husbands want it, regardless of their own feelings. Clearly, this is a coercive and dangerous approach to sex and relationships.
Yet the Catholic Church does view sex as important in marriage. Canon law even states that a marriage isn’t valid without consummation. But does that mean sex is, in some sense, obligatory? What about if one partner doesn’t want it? What do we make of the marriage of Mary and Joseph? And what makes sex so important anyway?
On this episode of Glad You Asked, guest Kate Ott talks about the role of sex in a Catholic marriage, and what goes into a healthy sex ethic. Ott is a professor of Christian Ethics at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary outside of Chicago, as well as an author and religious education curriculum designer. Her books include Sex + Faith: Talking with your Child from Birth to Adolescence (Westminster John Knox Press) and Sex, Tech and Faith: Ethics for a Digital Age (Eerdmanns).
Learn more about this topic using these links:
- Sex + Faith: Talking with Your Child from Birth to Adolescence, by Kate Ott
- “Does Catholic rhetoric about sex line up with reality?” by Don Clemmer
- “It’s time to wrestle with church teaching on sex. Here’s how.” by Don Clemmer
- “The harmful myth of the ‘marriage debt’,” by Mindy Robinson
- “Marriage prep programs are failing some Catholic couples,” by Jenn Morson
- “Canon law on marriage and annulments needs updating,” by H. L. Norwich











