Julian of Norwich in Her Sick Bed

Poetry
The stone walls stay cool on this late summer afternoon.
Bushels of golden apple light tumble through my small window,
casting a yellow square on the floor
which shifts slowly all day like a tired pilgrim.
The tabby cat places herself into this warm glow,
sighing each hour as she rises again to follow its journey.

A breeze rustles in and I gulp down autumn’s early arrival
like being under a waterfall.
All day I watch the sun travel, the cat shift,
the snail make its way up my wall leaving a trail
like the tears that streak my face into a map of desire.

At night I dream I can fly, slip out the window into the dark liquid sky,
feel the night lift me onto her back like a wave cresting
and I am suddenly more than these frozen limbs,
I can taste the stars, flakes of sea salt sprinkled across black silk.

The moon opens her wide mouth as if to sing,
then swallows me, takes me inside her
until I know myself as one who waxes and wanes, who shines brightly
and sometimes disappears into darkness.

This poem also appears in the May 2022 issue of U.S. Catholic (Vol. 87, No. 5, page 27). Click here to subscribe to the magazine.

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About the author

Christine Valters Paintner

Christine Valters Paintner is a Benedictine oblate and the online abbess at AbbeyoftheArts.com, a virtual monastery integrating contemplative practice and creative expression. She is a poet and the author of more than 20 books on the spiritual life. Her newest book is A Midwinter God: Encountering the Divine in Seasons of Darkness (Ave Maria Press). Christine lives on the wild edges of Ireland with her husband, John, where they lead online programs for a global ecumenical community.

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