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Most Monday nights, I stand outside St. Teresa of Ávila Catholic Church in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago as nearly 400 people arrive for Alpha, a series of evenings where adults share a meal and explore questions of life and faith. Most participants are in their 20s and 30s. Many have never been part of a small group in the church, and some have never been to church at all.
One evening I asked a young man why he signed up. He told me he was 23, worked in finance, and had a fairly easy life. “But I’m becoming more and more selfish,” he said. His mom had to text him five times before he answered. He made more money than his father and spent it all on himself. He wanted to be with people trying to live the way Jesus lived: “Not the selfish way. . . but the way of generosity,” he said. He had the time, skills, and income, as well as the desire, to give. What he was missing was a relationship with Christ that would show him why and how.
This young man’s story raises a question every parish faces: How can laypeople support their parish amid life’s various pressures? To answer this question, we must first acknowledge that our point of departure has changed. In a culture that is becoming less post-Christian and more pre-Christian, we cannot begin by asking for time, talent, and treasure. We must begin with the belonging found in communities where people can discover faith, share it, and wrestle with the life-changing questions Jesus asks. In those moments, hearts fall in love with Christ and generous service follows.
Where we are
Through my work with Renew My Church, the Archdiocese of Chicago’s parish renewal initiative, I have met others such as that 23-year-old. We often describe our culture as post-Christian, as if people once knew the faith and drifted away. But in Chicago, as in so many large cities, those who come to us today are better described as pre-Christian. Some were baptized and occasionally went to Mass with their parents, yet no one ever helped them come to know Jesus personally. Pope Francis described this group in Evangelii Gaudium (On the Proclamation of the Gospel in Today’s World) as the baptized who “lack a meaningful relationship to the Church and no longer experience the consolation born of faith.”
At the same time, many faithful Catholics feel they have little left to offer. They work long hours, struggle to pay their bills, live with illness or disability, or doubt that they have any gifts to offer. The Catholic Church rightly teaches that we all share a duty to support those in need, but when people who have never met Christ or who are already exhausted hear only a request for time, talent, and treasure, it can sound like one more obligation.
So, the order matters: belonging, then encounter, then service, which grows as the fruit of worship and of the Eucharist.
Belonging
Pope Francis described the church as a community that takes the first step, going out to meet people the way God first comes to meet us. He also spoke of the art of accompaniment, walking with people at their own pace. This often begins around a table, where strangers share their lives and questions week after week and become friends. Every parishioner can help build belonging, whether through a weekly prayer call for the homebound or a small group that meets them where they are.
Encounter
Belonging opens the door, but it is not the destination. People need space to discover faith for themselves, to hear others share how God has worked in their lives, and to wrestle with the questions Jesus still asks: “What are you looking for?” (John 1:38) and “But who do you say that I am?” (Luke 9:20). These questions are not answered quickly, but we know that they change lives.
Pope Benedict XVI taught that being Christian begins with encountering other people, such as Jesus Christ, who give life new horizons and direction. Someone who comes to these community-oriented spaces begins to pray, practice faith, and seek ways to serve Christ through those in need.
Service as fruit
When people come to know Jesus’ love, they want to share it. The Holy Spirit gives every baptized person gifts for the good of the whole community. As St. Paul says in Corinthians, “each has a particular gift from God” (1 Cor. 7:7). Service becomes gratitude rather than a task, and it reaches beyond parish ministry to the works Jesus names in Matthew, Chapter 25: feeding the hungry, caring for the sick, and visiting the imprisoned.
I have witnessed this transformation firsthand. Some Alpha leaders who first came as guests discerned a call to bring the course to people held at Cook County Jail. Others felt called to lead Exodus 90, a 90-day program of prayer, sacrifice, and brotherhood for men in the community. Others built a grief group for those mourning a loved one. None of these ministries began with me seeking volunteers, but rather with those whose hearts were awakened by the Holy Spirit and discerned a call to accompany others and serve in Christ’s name.
When we ask those preparing to enter the church what they would ask God, the most common answer is, “What is my purpose?” For some, the answer might be a parish ministry. For others, it will be raising children in faith, caring for an aging parent, or bringing integrity to their work. This aligns with the Second Vatican Council, which calls laypeople to bring Christ into the world from within, like leaven.
For those who live with illness or disability, St. Paul offers real dignity: He speaks of offering his sufferings for the sake of Christ’s body, the church. A homebound parishioner who prays everyday for those preparing for baptism serves the parish with the same dedication as those who welcome them at the door.
A plan of action
I suggest three commitments, following this same order.
Build an environment where people feel they belong. Parishes can invest in places where people are welcomed and known, such as shared meals, parish social events, or weekly calls for the homebound. Inviting a friend to dinner, joining a social group, or calling someone who has not been to church in a while is a real gift to the parish.
Make room for encounter. Before we can expect people to worship with joy and expectation, we have to help them unpack what they are celebrating and how to approach it, and the Holy Spirit can lead them deeper. Alpha, small faith-sharing groups, and Bible courses bridge people’s questions and the church’s teachings, offering honest conversations, learning, and the accompaniment ongoing conversion requires. A liturgy prepared with care, preaching that speaks to real lives, adoration, and prayer become true moments of encounter with Christ in the church.
Let service grow from discernment. Some are called to lead or participate in parish ministry, in roles that fit real lives and match real skills. Many lead outward: to poor neighbors, immigrants, refugees, the sick, the grieving, and the imprisoned. When a parishioner senses such a call, our job is to listen, encourage, and send them in the parish’s name.
The 23-year-old man is now in our Order of Christian Initiation of Adults (OCIA) cohort, preparing for baptism. He has found a community, and he is beginning to know the God who loved him first. I pray that whatever he gives in the years ahead will come from that gift of transforming love we all seek and need to fulfill our own vocations.
Image: Unsplash+
