Readings (Year C):
Isaiah 6:1-8
Psalm 138:1-2, 2-3, 4-5, 7-8
1 Corinthians 15:1-11
Luke 5:1-11
Reflection: How will you listen to your fear?
Today’s readings are all about vocation: Where am I called to go, who am I called to be, and what am I called to do?
The prophet Isaiah responds to God’s question, “Whom shall I send?” in growing confidence: “Here I am, send me.” Paul answers the question, “Who am I called to be?” with humility and integrity: “By the grace of God, I am what I am.” What you see is what you get. The gospel narrates the call of the fishermen to follow Jesus: “From now on, you will be catching people!”
I’m remembering important vocational moments in my life: The eagerness to follow Jesus as a young person. The energy of that response came up against the question of how. Vowed religious life? Single? Married? I was afraid to choose.
Later, I sought to follow Jesus as a young professional. The images and stereotypes I carried came up against the question of who. My identity didn’t look like who I thought belonged in church ministry. I was afraid I didn’t belong.
Recently discerning a new path in my life, I came up against the question of when. Letting go of the familiar before having something concrete to grasp paralyzed me. I was afraid to make the move.
Thomas Merton wrote, “Every person has a vocation to be someone. But you must understand clearly that in order to fulfill this vocation you can only be one person: yourself.”
My vocation and your vocation is fulfilled in offering the world my self, my best self, my integrated self, my energized, my searching, my seasoned self. A daunting task. The work of a lifetime.
“Do not be afraid,” Jesus tells the fishermen in the boat. Afraid of what? Surely not fear of capsizing, or of getting the huge catch of fish processed before it rotted!
Afraid of Jesus’ power, his charismatic personality, perhaps. Afraid of letting go of the familiar. Afraid of their own power, their own potential for doing something new. Of becoming themselves in a whole new and powerful way.
Poet Amanda Gorman recited a poem at the inauguration of President Biden that made waves around the world. But you know what? She almost didn’t go. She wasn’t just afraid––she was terrified. Listing all her fears as she lay awake, she said a small voice spoke this message: “Maybe being brave enough doesn’t mean lessening my fear but listening to it.”
Fear: Maybe it’s not cowardice but a call forward, a summons to go, to be, to act for what you hold dear. The poet said on that Inauguration Day, what she found waiting on the other side of her fear, was “all those who searched beyond their own fears to find space for hope in their lives.”
Each of us is being asked to search beyond our own fears today. The invitation to “fish for people” is given: to speak up, to heal, to feed, to forgive, to include, to risk. How will you listen to your fear, and then, how will you respond?
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